Letters to my dead mother. The woman I chose to leave. The woman who deserved nothing less.

Hello everyone!
I’m very excited about this contest and I just wanted to share a little bit about my piece for you all!

This is the first of my mixed media portfolio that I am creating. The basis for this image are the two eyeless faces which I drew with graphite. The shadows that are created from the faces are photographic transfers, all my own images, using a unique process that involves hand sanitizer. I used chalk pastels to help fill in some of the areas within the photographs. I shaved them into a dust and painted them on for a clouded effect. The text that is present are hand sanitizer transfers as well. They are actual letters that I had written to my mother, whom I do not speak to anymore. Adding those letters brings the piece down to a very intimate level for me. The piece then has a layer of wax on the top which brings out a yellowed vintage look. The combination of cream and dark red string are they layered into the wax. The string is used to represent thoughts, a connection, or lack there of. The red string in particular is key to the meaning of the piece. Red was used to represent the love that I want to have towards my mother but at the same time, I chose it to represent the distrust and betrayal that I feel towards her. This piece has become a tool for healing, a physical journal if you will. However, I didn’t want this piece to be just about my life experiences. The faces in the image are “faceless.” I wanted them to be impersonal and unrecognizeable. I wanted for anyone to be able to look at this piece and see themselves; I wanted them to see their own struggles and life experiences in it, not just my view. Which is why I would like to share it with this magizine and all of its viewers.
Thank you so much! Good luck to all.
-Kaylee Hoffman